Crazy to think we have been here 8 months, first I
want to apologize for not keeping you more informed. Things have definitely been
interesting to say the least; Ryan and I have been going through some growing
pains recently.
I'm writing to share my heart with you today, Ryan
is currently in North Carolina and I'm here in our CRican apartment. The Lord
has made a way for Ryan to complete his dream of getting his pilot’s license. As
he was researching programs, we found out it was cheaper for him to go back to
the states to do the program since fuel is so expensive here. He left for the
first part of his program on March 5th, (he was gone about 1 month
then got to come home for 3 weeks before heading back on Tuesday of this past
week to finish up) I stayed behind because I started working.
One of the hard things
was that the day Ry left in March was the first day I started to answer calls
at work…I've been trying to adapt to my new routine, to be honest it has been
quite a challenging. I find myself having really good days and really bad days.
I'm working for HP- Hewlett Packard. They offer technical support to clients in
many different states/countries and companies. It’s been a bit overwhelming at
times...you can imagine there is tons of information, overall this is a great
job, but it is like no other job I´ve ever had.
It’s been had getting
adjusted to my schedule since I work from 6am-3pm I have to wake up at 4 to be
ready to leave by 5. I've been finding that I'm being more isolated and keeping
to myself, I didn’t really realize how isolated I had become until this week
when I started to feel anxiety again about going to work. I'm struggling to
have a good attitude about work. This
had already happened once when Ryan left the first time, but I'm now finding
that I'm dealing with it again.
I
just pray for the Lord to allow these feelings to go away or for a new job, not
really sure which will come first. I know he is asking me to work that is not
the problem, I just pray I am able to overcome these strange feels that make it
so hard and painful. I know that the Lord has great plans, and this job is just
a path in that direction. I'm trying to overcome this…that’s the only word I
can come up with right now. Don’t
misunderstand me, I'm not questioning being here in CR, WE KNOW GOD BROUGHT US
HERE…I'm just trying to have peace about the current part of this journey. It’s
no one’s ideal world to be apart from your spouse for 8 weeks (that’s how long
it will take for Ry to finish) its just simply part of the sacrifice we both
have to make to get the desired results.
I went to church tonight with some friends of my
parents…it had been a few weeks since I last saw them…I'm blessed that the Lord
spoke directly to me, to my need. I feel better than when I walked out a few
hours ago…Glory be to God.
All I know is that this too shall pass…it always
does, we grow and learn. God is faithful, forever faithful.
I know that a lot of what I've been going through
the past month is because the enemy doesn’t want me to have peace, Ryan and I
have seen the hand of God move taking us into a new direction regarding our
ministry. You see my heart was deeply touched by the experience I had at the
Hope Center. I've been praying for the Lord to show me if there is anything I
could do here. You see CR's government states that abortions are illegal. Yet
we all know that abortions ARE happening left and right. I want to know what is
being done to bring HELP, HOPE AND HEALING to them. In my search I came in contact with Sue
Liljenberg from Healing Hearts which told me about this woman named Melissa
that is starting a pregnancy resource center here in CR.
At first I could not believe that the Lord had
opened a door so close by. We were blessed to have met Melissa and her husband
Ken on Ryan’s last weekend here. We were able to see the Lord orchestrate a
divine meeting and I believe in my heart that this is the direction we must take.
I have been overwhelmed by the desire to fully
dive into this and perhaps it has really affected me at work. I don’t want to
be there you know…I just want to be serving God in this ministry...funny how I
am reminded every day that I need to do EVERYTHING as unto the Lord. I'm just
pray that my spirit, my mind and my attitude will have the desire to work on
everything that I need to get done on a daily basis, that I don’t feel so shut
down after work that I become distant, get it?
Another piece of good news is that we traded our
car…and got an automatic!! I can finally drive around town by myself! :)
If you think of us and would like to pray for us
on a more specific way here is a little list:
-Protection...for
Ryan as he is flying and me as I go about life here in CR
-Against
any anxiety attacks
-new
job closer to home with same pay as the one I have now or a change of attitude
about my current job
-The
perfect job for Ryan when he completes his commercial pilot’s license
-wisdom
as we embark on a journey to start a non-profit
-For
the Lord to be moving in the hearts of the volunteers, potential clients and
the community to embrace this new concept.
-For
Melissa and Ken from Beautiful Feet and other potential support
-For
financial support to start buying
supplies (pregnancy test to begin with)
We miss you all so much, thank you for taking the
time to read our blog.
If you would like to email me directly please do so
at VRMartin31@gmail.com.
With love, Vanessa & Ryan
